


Lost In Translation

by Biting Words (Reyna_is_epic)



Series: Soulmate AUs [2]
Category: Little Witch Academia
Genre: Also the driving force behind everything, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Amanda is a little shit, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkwardness, Cute, Diana gets a hug, Dorks, Epilogue, F/F, Feelings, Fluff, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Okay apparently more angsty than I thought, Romantic Soulmates, So does Akko, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, emotionally constipated Diana
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:13:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24140389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reyna_is_epic/pseuds/Biting%20Words
Summary: “Akko…” Diana startles herself with the word and Akko’s gaze snaps over like she pulled on a string. “... any…” she searches for words, “Anyone would be lucky to have you as their soulmate.” she settles on.Something in Akko breaks. It’s quick, covered so quickly that if she hadn’t spent the better part of a year learning the things that make Akko tick she’d have missed it, but it’s definitely there.
Relationships: Atsuko "Akko" Kagari & Amanda O'Neill, Diana Cavendish & Atsuko "Akko" Kagari, Diana Cavendish/Atsuko "Akko" Kagari
Series: Soulmate AUs [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1742059
Comments: 27
Kudos: 519





	1. A Misunderstanding

She should’ve known something was going to go wrong, it was within everyone’s nature to do so. Even at the best of times-- and for all intents and purposes, this was the best of times. They’d managed to stop a massive life-ending missile and bring magic back, everything should be perfect-- someone, somewhere, managed to find something to ruin her perfectly constructed plans.

She just didn’t think that this would be the thing to push them over the tipping point.

“So what about you, Akko?” Amanda’s voice is full of that special kind of humor, the kind that always spelled misfortune for others.

On her right side, Akko wiggles uncomfortably and twists her head up from her notebook.

“Hmm?”

Amanda’s grin could only be described as evil. Pure, unadulterated evil that would have sent the devil running.

“Your mark,” she clarifies, “What’s it say?”

Akko’s almost omnipresent smile fades and Diana feels something cold wash down her spine. Around them, their friends all freeze, turning to look at the ongoing conversation with a mix of curiosity and concern.

Akko’s eyes seem to have lost focus.

“Akko?” she asks and the girl jerks, suddenly seeming to remember where she is. Her gaze ricochets between herself and Amanda, unclear of where to focus or what to say.

“C’mon Amanda, lay off of her--” Lotte tries to break in, but Amanda brushes her off.

“We’ve all been wondering it! With all the time she spends around Andrew, I just think--”

“It’s not Andrew.” Akko interrupts and the strange cold feeling creeps over Diana’s shoulders and down her legs. “And even if it was it…” she trails off, gaze snapping to Diana as if looking for help.

“You don’t have to tell her anything you don’t want to Akko,” she reassures. “Right, O'Neil?”

“I just asked a question…” Amanda pouts but acquiesces. 

For a moment that seems to be the end of the conversation. Akko hasn’t answered the question and everyone looks a bit disappointed, but not terribly surprised by that. Marks are a private affair and while, yes, they make for good gossip, no one has a right to anyone else-

“It’s unrequited.”

All of the air goes rushing out of the room. Amanda’s mischievous gleam shrivels up and dies. The cold that had begun to recede hits Diana with the force of a freight train and everyone else in the room seems to feel it too.

“... what…” she hears someone whisper.

Akko has shrunken into herself, hands wound around her knees and bangs falling to hide her face, but the words that escape her are sure. “My mark. It’s unrequited.”

Silence falls. Diana feels as if she can see her own breath, she’s so cold.

“Oh Akko…” Lotte whispers.

Sucy, for once, has a glimmer of worry in her eyes. “You’re sure…?”

Akko raises her face, ever so slowly, and again looks to Diana as if she can give her the answers. When she provides none she sighs, heavy and sad. “Yeah… yeah, I’m pretty sure… she wouldn’t have any other reason for ignoring me… not anymore at least…”

Diana feels her lips pull tight at the thought of some girl… ignoring Akko’s mark. Akko who shines like a summer day, whose signature is messy, sure, but perfectly legible for anyone who looks hard enough. A signature that would be impossible to ignore on someone’s wrist, if only because the sheer black marks were visible from space.

“...Shit Akko…” Amanda breathes, face pale and posture, for once, ramrod straight. “I didn’t mean--”

“It’s fine!” Akko finally uncurls and reaches up to brush her hair out of her face. Her smile is back, not as bright as it was before, and she offers Amanda a reassuring nod. “I got used to it a while ago. I guess soulmates just aren’t for me.”

“Akko…” Diana startles herself with the word and Akko’s gaze snaps over like she pulled on a string. “... any…” she searches for words, “Anyone would be lucky to have you as their soulmate.” she settles on.

Something in Akko breaks. It’s quick, covered so quickly that if she hadn’t spent the better part of a year learning the things that make Akko tick she’d have missed it, but it’s definitely there. The light in her eyes dies like a candle snuffed out and her smile takes on a cruel, manic edge as if she’s forcing it to stay on her face. Then she blinks and it’s gone, replaced with a sad, resigned grin and a soft, breathy chuckle.

“Thanks Diana…”

The remainder of the study session is subdued. Quiet and full of pitying glances that Diana is sure that Akko is pretending not to see as she dives back into her Divinations homework with added gusto. If Diana’s criticisms of Akko’s predictions are more gentle than usual… that’s her own business. 

~

Unrequited marks were rare. That went almost without saying, and such marks had a lot of different reasons in a lot of different cultures. Some saw an unrequited mark as a sign of a higher calling, or to others, a lower one. Some said they were cursed, and even others still posited that the children had just been born wrong, or angered the gods, or a hundred different reasons. As modern times came about and Bondology became an actual, sanctioned, studied thing, a different conclusion was made: 

80% of people with unrequited marks died young. That spoke for itself.

An unrequited mark wasn’t a sign of anyone doing anything wrong, it was the sign of someone who would not live long enough to realize the full extent of a bond.

Akko’s safety was already a topic of hot debate over breakfast but with that new tidbit of information in hand, Diana was prepared to go to war to make sure the other girl didn’t do anything stupid and for once, she was sure the others would be inclined to agree. Akko had gotten out of a lot of jams in the past on luck alone and, if her mark was anything to go by, that luck was bound to run out someday sooner rather than later. Diana would be damned if that happened on her watch.

Unfortunately, her plans are foiled when, upon reaching the breakfast table, she finds the absence of a certain troublemaking witch. 

This isn’t like her other absences, of which she has become accustomed to and prepared to go rushing after with her wand drawn. No, those are usually accompanied by Sucy, Lotte, Amanda, or some combination thereof. This morning, however, all three are accounted for-- as well as Constanze and Jasminka-- therefore eliminating the possibility of some grand adventure she’s going to have to foil later. ( _Though not entirely,_ she muses.)

Sucy, unsurprisingly, has her head buried in a book that has a picture of a mushroom on the cover, one she’s sure she’s seen her read before but decides not to comment on. Amanda and Constanze are encompassed in some hot debate (rather, Amanda is debating, Constanze is just making faces while a Stanbot responds to Amanda in an increasingly passive-aggressive tone) while Jasminka looks on as if she’s watching a tennis match. Which leaves Lotte the only one who seems to notice the absence of Akko.

Diana decides to start there.

“Where’s Akko?” she asks, carefully setting down her breakfast tray. Lotte glances up at her, blinking owlishly.

“Huh?”

“Where’s Akko?” she repeats, it’s morning, she can forgive a little loss of propriety.

“Oh, uh, she’s still in the dorm,” Lotte plays with her fork, flicking her gaze between her scrambled eggs and Diana. “Said something about not feeling too well…”

Diana frowns. That’s especially unlike Akko. The girl has never been the most… committed… student, but she never does anything by halves and she’s never been known to give up so easily. She’s seen her push through several things, including a particular incident in which she witnessed the girl break her leg, then proceed to get back on her broom and attempt to take off again, said leg still broken. Something as simple as a cold or a stomach bug should not be enough to keep Akko at bay. If anything, it should encourage her to come down here and spread her germs to each and every person she meets. Yes, that sounds like something she’d do. A smile quirks the edges of her lips.

Perhaps she’ll pay a visit to her after breakfast, just to check-in, make sure she isn’t still feeling awkward about the previous night. It isn’t Akko’s fault her mark is the way it is, she shouldn’t be ashamed of it.

~

“Akko?”

Her voice echoes back to her on the dark wood of the door, which hasn’t moved despite her repeated knocks against its surface. There’s no movement inside of the dorm, or at least no noise to indicate it. Maybe Akko did get up after all and managed to drag herself to the nurse or, more likely, decided to go raid a storage closet for a ‘cure’ for whatever illness supposedly took hold.

Diana shakes her head, no, now she’s just making excuses for her.

“Akko, I know you’re in there, Lotte told me.” 

There’s a squeak from somewhere inside the room, followed by a curse and dull thud of something falling. Diana frowns.

She'll be the first to admit that she isn't the best at feelings. For all of her reputation and mother's lessons in compassion and empathy, she's always fallen just short of that mark. Despite that, she knows that whatever Akko is feeling isn't just the result of telling a mildly embarrassing secret to her friends. That doesn't make a person hide in their room, especially not a person as utterly carefree and shameless as Akko.

"It's not your fault, you know?" The words come unbidden and she represses the urge to slam her head against the door for them. The movement inside of Akko's room stills once again. Diana swallows a lump that was beginning to form in her throat. 

"It's… I'm not going to pretend to be a professional in soulmarks because… truth be told, I'm not. However, I know that having an unrequited bond is not an indicator of an inability to love or be loved." She doesn't know what she's doing, or why her hands are shaking. Why does her throat hurt so much? Why do her eyes feel… pained? Is this anger? Frustration? 

"Akko in our… several months of acquaintanceship I've come to understand that there is no soul on the face of this earth that cannot love you. You are kind and just and you believe in the best of everyone, a very rare trait that I can't help but admire. There is no one more deserving of a bond than you, and I am truly sorry that the universe would be so cruel as to deny you that."

Yes, frustration, that must be it. Frustration that someone as wholly and purely good as Akko could be cheated in such a way. The very thought makes her hands clench.

For a moment the silence prevails. She doesn't move and neither does the door. Akko doesn't respond, doesn't twitch, and the frustration quickly turns to nerves. Was she too forward? Too candid? Has she made Akko feel worse somehow? Perhaps she should've brought Lotte, she is definitely more well versed in emotions--

The door creaks open and there Akko stands in all of her sleep-deprived, tear-stained, disheveled glory. Something in Diana's chest solidifies and falls into the pit of her stomach. It feels wrong to see her like this, smile-absent with rings clinging stubbornly to the undersides of bloodshot eyes. Her cheeks are wet with hastily wiped tears and her hair hangs loose around her shoulders, that frustrating little ponytail nowhere in sight.

A small, little understood, part of Diana wants to cry.

She shakes herself back to the present as Akko opens her mouth to speak.

"You are…" she trails off, but Diana can't help but wonder what she is in the eyes of this Akko, one whose voice shakes as she declares Diana's state of being only to break into something that is a pitiful mimic of a sob.

Diana moves without thought, something that's become worryingly common in regards to Akko, and draws the shorter girl into her. Her arms wrap snugly around her torso and trap her there as Akko shakes in her hold. She can feel the moisture collecting upon her sweater, but she doesn't really care.

Diana doesn’t think she’s ever cared less about her appearance.

“It’s okay.”

Akko’s arms, which have remained motionless at her sides, raise just the slightest bit to ball against the lower part of Diana’s sweater.

Eventually, Akko stops shaking.

She doesn’t pull away, not quite, but the weight that had settled so solidly against Diana’s shoulder stops feeling like it’s pressing her into the ground.

“Are you ready to talk about it?”

It’s common for people their age to wear wrist coverings, it’s dangerous, after all, to let the world see who you’re destined for, it can always be used against you. But the ribbon wound around Akko’s wrist, trapped between their bodies, feels like fire.

Akko retracts. Not completely, just enough that Diana can see her face.

There’s such a bitter defeat in her eyes it makes her skin crawl.

“I don’t think I’m ever going to be able to talk about it…” she whispers.

Diana drops her head with a sigh, then brings Akko's hand up to her mouth. She may not be able to deal with emotions, but there are some things she is capable of doing. 

"I'll get you an excuse for class…" Akko's dull, bloodshot eyes widen. "Just this once." She presses her lips against the knuckles of Akko's hand.

"Get some rest, please."

With that, Diana releases her, taking a step back to allow her the room to process. Akko doesn't move and for a terrifying moment Diana wonders once more if she pushed things too far. She'll admit that friendship is not her most learned subject and her prior lessons (Hannah and Barbara) weren't exactly unbiased.

Then Akko's face slowly moves into a strange, bitter smile. The same one she'd given her at the study session. It still looks wrong on her face.

Akko chuckles, just as bitterly, before reaching up a hand-- not the one she kissed, she notes-- to wipe at her eyes.

"I am… so lucky to have you as a friend, Diana," she says and, though the words are true, Diana can't help but hear a sour note coloring their tone. She wants to ask, wants to understand why Akko looks at her like she's simultaneously drowning her and her only hope for rescue.

But Akko shakes her head, banishes the tremble in her voice, and turns to close the door as she goes back into her dorm.

"Thanks. For… yeah…"

The door clicks shut and, though Diana is sure she's done the right thing, she can't help but notice that the weight that had settled in her stomach is still there, and it's beginning to burn.

~

Akko makes it down from her room the following morning-- though she seems pale and uncharacteristically quiet-- and the next few days present a slow, but steady, march of progress. Diana still isn’t sure what it is that she’s missing, what in Akko has shattered so severely it leaves her limping through interactions like it’s still embedded in her ankle, but she knows it has something to do with her unrequited mark and, therefore, something to do with that conversation they had directly afterwards.

She keeps replaying the moment in her mind’s eye: 

_Something in Akko breaks. It’s quick, covered so quickly that if she hadn’t spent the better part of a year learning the things that make Akko tick she’d have missed it, but it’s definitely there. The light in her eyes dies like a candle snuffed out and her smile takes on a cruel, manic edge, as if she’s forcing it to stay on her face. Then she blinks and it’s gone, replaced with a sad, resigned grin and a soft, breathy chuckle._

_“Thanks Diana…”_

Was it something she said?

Regardless of her musings, Akko does improve. It’s scarcely a week before she’s back to her normal, energetic, somehow endearingly obnoxious self. If Diana had not seen her that morning in front of her door she wouldn’t have believed it happened. 

That week consists of many of the same lighthearted shenanigans that Akko and her rag-tag group of friends have become so known for (at one point Diana finds Lotte and Sucy trapped in a closet after being transfigured into chameleons. She doesn’t ask.).

Another week, still, passes by without anything seeming amiss. They hold study groups and no one asks about marks, they go out to encourage Akko’s (often fruitless, but still improving) flight practice, and they get caught up in plots much too big for any of them to handle. It’s comforting, or it should be, that they can go back to normal so quickly after such a huge revelation.

But the thing is, Diana isn’t comforted.

She’s worried.

Because, sometimes, when she thinks no one else is looking, when she thinks that Diana’s distracted or too absorbed in her current task to notice, Akko looks at her like that. Like her whole world sat in the palms of her hands she did nothing but toss it aside.

They’re fleeting, rare moments, but they’re there. And Diana can’t help but think that she’s missing something very, very crucial.

  
  


~

“So how about you, Cavendish?” 

Diana was so focused on number 32 in her textbook that she didn’t even notice Amanda enter her dorm, much less make herself comfortable in Hannah’s bed.

Hannah and Barbara giggle from their spot upon Barbara’s, watching Amanda like she’s told the world’s best joke and they’re waiting for the punchline.

“Isn’t it past curfew?” Diana asks in lieu of answering.

Amanda snorts.

“What’re you gonna do about it? Write me up?”

“I’m considering it.” Diana makes a point to turn the page of her textbook more aggressively than usual.

Amanda scoffs.

“Oh come off it! It’s just a simple question!”

Diana glances up to meet the grinning, mischievous gaze that, while similar to the one she often sees on Akko’s face, she finds so much more annoying for some reason.

“Need I remind you what happened last time you asked a ‘simple question’?”

There’s a moment of silence in which Diana thinks she’s actually won the argument. Then Amanda waves her hand dismissively.

“I talked to Akko about it afterward, we were cool!” 

There’s a nervous edge to her voice that tells Diana that ‘cool’ did not encapsulate the entirety of the conversation. If she had to guess, she’d say Amanda still felt bad about it.

“Be that as it may,” Diana returns her gaze to her textbook, “forgive me if I don’t feel up to answering any of your, ‘simple questions’-”

“Oh come on Diana,” Hannah breaks in, sending her best puppy-dog eyes. Barbara quickly mimics the expression.

“Yeah, besides, the rest of us already know what each other's marks say, it’s not a big deal! We probably don’t even know them.”

Diana hadn’t realized that was the _exact_ same question that had set them off last time.

“You do realize how ridiculous you all are being? Not to mention careless.”

“Do you even have a mark, Diana?” Amanda asks, a teasing lilt in her voice, and Diana can feel the blood in her body rushing towards her face.

“For your information, O’Neil, I’d have to be physically incapable of love or extremely emotionally compromised in order for that to be true.”

“That wasn’t a ‘yes, Amanda, I do have a mark.’”

Diana frowns.

She has a million excuses, a million reasons why she doesn’t have to, why she shouldn’t, tell anyone what the signature on her arm says. Unfortunately, they all flee in the presence of the one, simple, reason she should.

“I can’t read it.”


	2. Reconciliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How could she have possibly been so stupid? How many months has Akko sat in silence, waiting for her to acknowledge her? How many times has she cried, thinking that her soulmate either didn’t want her or was destined for someone else? When did she accept that Diana wasn’t meant for her? When did she convince herself that the Universe would be so cruel? How much anguish has she caused her, born of her own stupidity?

“...”

“You… what?”

Amanda looks like someone has whacked her upside the head with a baseball bat. Diana can see the disbelief slackening the muscles in her jaw.

“I can’t read it.” She repeats, soft and somewhat defeated. 

“You… can’t… read your mark…?” Hannah and Barbara look more confused than Amanda. Like someone has pulled the floor out from beneath them.

Diana narrows her eyes.

“Not for a lack of trying, mind you. I’m certain it’s written in some East-Asian characters, but I can’t identify which and they’re so messy I doubt that if I could I’d be able to distinguish the marks enough to decipher them--”

“But you’re Diana Cavendish!” Amanda yells, springing up from her spot on the bed, waving her hands frantically, ”descendent of Beatrix and the second coming of Christ or whatever the hell else the teachers call you!”

Diana blinks. Slowly.

“The second coming of Christ?”

“Whatever!” Amanda finally stops her waving to extend one arm out in a quick snapping motion. Her pointer finger stops directly in front of Diana’s nose and she has to struggle not to focus on it. “You’re supposed to be… perfect, or whatever! What the hell do you mean you can’t read your mark?!”

Diana narrows her gaze, “What is it with you and your obsession with soulmarks recently?” 

She watches as Amanda’s face quickly turns bright pink.

“That-That’s Irrelevant!”

“Irrelevant? I didn’t know your vocabulary included words of that caliber.”

“Hey, lay off of her Diana!”

Surprised, perhaps at being argued with by Hannah of all people, but more likely by the large red blotch growing across her cheeks, Diana doesn’t notice Amanda’s lunge until she already has her hands wrapped around Diana’s forearm and she’s being dragged to the floor. She yelps, but her struggles are too little too late and Amanda manages to pull the bracelet from her wrist.

Pressed against the floor, she can’t see the black smudges she knows are there, but they’re burned into her memory from years after years of fruitless research. Countless nights of being hunched over a textbook and watching as the symbols blurred before her eyes. She makes a final attempt to shake Amanda off, but Amanda decides to sit on top of her in order to quell her struggles.

“Iff thiff reawy mecestary?!” she grumbles, muffled against the floorboards. Amanda shushes her.

“Yes, now just let me…” Amanda goes still.

“What is it?” Hannah and Barbara’s feet make quiet pattering noises as they make their way over to examine Diana’s exposed dignity. They don’t even make it three steps before Amanda loses her shit.

“Diana Goddamn Cavendish…” her voice is icily calm, something Diana thought herself the only one capable of, “you colossal fuCKING MORON!”

“Well that’s just uncalled for…” someone, probably Barbara, mumbles off to the side and Diana struggles to contort her neck into a position where she isn’t practically licking the floorboards, only to be met with the fierce green glare of an Amanda that looks ready to throttle her. Diana suddenly remembers that while her magical prowess may be unmatched, Amanda’s physicality speaks for itself.

“It’s in Japanese you fuckwit!”

Diana feels like she’s just been poked between the eyes.

“You can read it?!”

Amanda’s scowl deepens. “No! I just know what Kanji fucking looks like!”

“There’s no need for such language, O’Neil--”

“Will you just listen for a second!” Amanda interrupts her, all but spitting actual fire. “It’s in Japanese. Who do we know who can sign their name in Japanese characters and thinks their mark is unrequited because the person theirs belongs to has been ignoring her?!?!”

Diana feels the lead that had settled in her chest all those weeks ago suddenly go rocketing back up into her throat.

“Oh.”

~

The cafeteria seems uncharacteristically loud. Diana doesn’t think there is an obvious difference, it’s not as if more students arrived in the school overnight, and she’s fairly certain all of the common hangouts for Luna Nova students during morning hours are open. However, she can feel it. Every whisper, every shout, every bout of laughter, every word shakes against her spine and rattles around inside of her skull like a particularly annoying maraca.

It’s overwhelming. 

Her teeth are pressed so tightly together she wonders if she’ll be able to pry them apart later.

“...Diana…?”

The voice is soft, cautious, but it still feels like a needle being pressed into her eardrum.

Her eyes snap into focus and she almost shouts out a hex before she manages to register the very surprised looking pair of crimson eyes staring at her from the other side of her wand.

_Had she been holding that this entire time?_

“Akko…” she breathes and lets her hand drop back against the table. Akko smiles, but it looks strained and the concern in her brow causes it to tremble just slightly. “Good morning--”

“Are you okay?” Akko breaks in. She never has been the most tactful.

A reassurance is on the tip of her tongue, the insides of her lips as she opens her mouth to reply, but her eyes catch on that infuriating little ribbon tied around the other girl’s wrist and her entire body seizes with heat.

Shame? Anger? Frustration? She’s not sure, but whatever the feeling is it makes her feel like she’s going to be sick. How could she have been so careless as to ignore all of Akko’s desperate glances? How far up her own arse did she have to be to not notice? How stupid can she be?

“Uh… Diana…?” Akko’s hand is waving in front of her face, the face that she’s unconsciously frozen in response to her mental berating, the face that’s been utterly silent for over a minute.

_Jesus._

“I apologize Akko,” she tries to smile but it comes out a bit more like a grimace, “I had a… rough night…”

Akko’s concerned brow doesn’t fall in the slightest.

“... nightmares…?” she questions. Soft in the way that only someone with experience can ask. Diana remembers those nights right after the Missile Crisis and how she’d had to check on Akko nightly in order to reassure herself that she hadn’t fallen to her death after their brooms gave out.

_Nine,_ how did she not realize this sooner? Even if she couldn’t read the mark there were _so_ many other clues. Soulmates are one of the oldest types of magic in the book, how the hell did she not notice the signs?!

“... not exactly…” she decides on, she can’t muster the mental energy to lie right now, and she’s certainly not ready for the conversation the two of them are going to need to have if they want to sort this whole mess out.

Akko casts a glance at their friends, that little furrow in her brow impossibly cute despite the circumstances, and sucks in a breath. Her gaze goes back to her, a question in its depths. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Diana shakes her head.

Akko nods to herself, then lets out a little huff of air, having reached her conclusion.

“Then let me,” she straightens herself to her full height and sets Diana with a smile. It’s not the bitter one she’s gotten used to over the past several weeks, but the bright one that she looks forward to every day. “I think I still owe you an explanation.”

Akko launches into a tale of her week and how everything went sideways and when. Diana’s used to this at this point, and she can’t help but find solace in the familiarity of Akko’s voice. How it rises and falls in tandem with her gestures. How her hands find strange and new exciting ways to contort to illustrate happenings and reactions from their classmates. How she punctuates each part of her story with a bright grin and a look at Diana to gauge her reaction. She’s never admitted it to her face, but she knows that Akko is going to make a fantastic performer.

She can feel the corners of her mouth pulling up. 

No one else can manage to get a laugh out of her when she’s spiraled into such a dark and brooding mood.

Akko concludes her performance with a cute little shout and a hand shooting upwards, declaring their victory over whatever ailment her friends and her faced (Diana zoned out long ago and couldn’t tell you anything that Akko had said) before planting both hands on her hips, a bright smile beaming in her direction.

The smile tugging at her lips finally wins out and she lets out a quiet, fond little chuckle. She’s got it bad.

“Thank you, Akko.” She offers, and Akko just continues smiling at her, though she can see some of the brightness in it dim as it becomes less of a show and more genuine.

“What’re friends for?”

Diana’s heart seizes.

~

She tries to avoid the subject.

Oh, she knows that they need to talk about it, that Akko is getting the short end of the stick because she likely still believes that they’re unrequited, but every time she thinks about trying to bring it up she’s consumed with one all-consuming thought:

_What if Amanda’s wrong?_

What if the symbols on her wrist don’t say Atsuko Kagari?

What if she just gets up Akko’s hopes for nothing? 

Or worst of all:

What if she’s not the name on Akko’s wrist?

She knows that it's ridiculous and the amount of evidence suggesting otherwise is laughable (for the Nine’s sake, she and Akko were the only two left to stop the damn missile, that had to count for something!), but she still can’t quite shake that little voice of doubt. She can’t get the courage to bring it up.

Days go by, a week even, and Amanda’s glare becomes more and more exasperated. She knows what Diana’s doing and what she fears. Diana knows it’s only a matter of time before she takes matters into her own hands. She just hopes she can get her act together before that happens.

~

“Hey Akko!” Amanda’s tone is casual, but there’s that wicked gleam in her eyes. 

Diana has to suppress the urge to grab the girl by the back of the collar and shove her into a supply closet. She’s supposed to be grading papers, focus damnit.

Akko looks up from the piece of paper Sucy had handed her earlier (some kind of note, no doubt. One that Diana should probably confiscate.) and Diana’s hit with a wave of deja vu.

“Hmm…?”

Amanda smiles, plopping her journal on the table in front of her. “Could you do me a favor?”

Akko’s eyes narrow suspiciously.

“What…”

Amanda’s grin widens.

“Can you write my name in Japanese?”

Diana’s going to strangle her.

Akko’s expression changes to one of confusion, her eyes widen back to their normal proportions and one of her brows rises.

“I… don’t think it works like that…”

Amanda’s expression falls to be replaced with one of annoyance.

“Well then how does it work, oh great one. Jeez, you’ve been hanging out with Diana too much, you’re starting to sound like her.”

Akko rolls her eyes, but Diana can’t help but feel a little proud.

“I mean most foreign names are written in Katakana. Not Kanji like traditional names. So like,” she tugs the notebook closer to her and scribbles for a moment, then pushes it back towards the center of the table. Diana’s stomach drops.

“This is my name in Kanji, but Kanji aren’t written phonetically like the English Alphabet…” She goes on to explain more about the Japanese writing system, but Diana can’t hear her. She can’t hear anything. All she can do is stare at the symbols she’s tried so hard to understand throughout her life and never been able to.

篝敦子

_Fuck_.

~

The dark wood of the door stares back at her mockingly.

Sucy was off looking for a rare mushroom that would probably come back to bite her in the arse later, and Lotte and Barbara had left to go pick up a copy of the newest Nightfall book. Which left Akko alone in her dorm, as Team Green had left that morning for some sort of errand (something to do with Constanze’s Stanbots, she really didn’t want to know the details.)

She couldn’t have orchestrated it better herself, and she knows that Amanda’s going to take credit for it later.

All she has to do is knock on the door.

This is what she’s been waiting for, the opportunity she’s been chasing for all these weeks. A private moment to come clean about everything, where only Akko gets to see her stupidity.

…

…

…

She doesn’t knock.

~

Finals season is coming upon them at lightning speed and, on the one hand, she really should be more focused on studying and making sure the rest of them are prepared (especially Akko). On the other…

Once finals are over, they’ll all go home. 

She’ll go back to an empty house where her only company is the staff, her bitter aunt and cousins, and the ghosts of her past.

Akko will go back to Japan, which is half-way around the world. Away from her.

She has tests to study for...

And a secret that is burning her from the inside out every day she goes without saying anything. She knows it’s already starting to affect her performance in class-- just the other day she got two questions wrong on a practice exam-- but she still can’t bring herself to speak.

Akko’s sad glances have been replaced with concerned ones.

Amanda looks more and more like she’s considering locking them in a room together and she can’t say she entirely blames her.

Barbara and Hannah couldn’t seem more disinterested if they tried, but even they occasionally look at her like she’s being the most stupid person alive.

She doesn’t disagree.

~  
  


“Diana?”

Diana struggles to lift her head from the textbook she’s been scowling at for the past… how long has she been here?

She’d gone to the library late last night to try and get her mind off of the medley of emotions and thoughts that had prevented her from sleeping. Now she can see light cascading in through the windows and Akko is looking at her like she’s found an elusive creature no one has seen in years.

“A...kko…?” her voice breaks, hoarse from disuse. She clears it and reaches up to rub at her burning eyes.

“Have you been here all night?!” She plops herself down next to her, books abandoned as she reaches up to grab Diana’s face.

She can feel color collecting there.

“Just… trying to study…” she tries to turn out of Akko’s grip, but she’s not having any of it. Akko pulls her face back and searches her gaze, brows pinched together, lips pressed into a thin line, nose scrunched up in that adorable way.

Diana needs to get a handle on herself.

“Diana, what’s wrong?” Akko finally asks.

Diana’s throat closes up.

“‘T’s nothing…” 

“It’s not nothing.” Akko’s hands release her face only to land in her lap, taking Diana's and holding them there. “You’ve been out of whack for a month now. Your grades are slipping, you hardly ever hang out with us anymore, and every time I try and talk to you about it you always just say you aren’t sleeping well…” Akko’s expression softens. “What’s going on?”

Diana has a million excuses. A million reasons why she might be having a hard time right now. But she’s tired, her eyes hurt, her throat aches, and she feels like she’s about to explode from the force of her own foolishness.

She starts crying.

Diana hasn’t cried in a very, very long time. A few errant shed tears, yes, but not like this, never like this:

Her shoulders rise, her breath comes in sharp, wet coughs, and her hair falls into her face to try and hide the horrible red blotches that are beginning to fill it. Her teeth click and grind with the force of her trying to close them against the building sobs. 

She can’t. 

They escape her in gasps and she can't stand the sound of them. Horrible, wet, squelching noises that just make it harder and harder for her to get a handle on herself because each one just makes her flinch from the sound.

She can’t breathe.

Can't move.

Can't speak.

Can’t see.

It’s too much, all too much. 

How could she have possibly been so stupid? How many months has Akko sat in silence, waiting for her to acknowledge her? How many times has she cried, thinking that her soulmate either didn’t want her or was destined for someone else? When did she accept that Diana wasn’t meant for her? When did she convince herself that the Universe would be so cruel? How much anguish has she caused her, born of her own stupidity?

Her guilty thoughts consume her and all that’s left is her broken, strangled sobs as she tries desperately to stop them.

~

She becomes aware of a soft warmth closed around her.

She blinks, confused when she can’t see anything but darkness before her.

The warmth shifts, trailing over her shoulder blades and carefully combing through the base of her hair.

_Had she fallen asleep?_

The warmth sighs, and Diana realizes who must be holding her.

She pulls back and Akko looks up at her, not a spec of judgment in her eyes. There’s only concern and a quiet acceptance. It’s the expression of someone who has resigned themselves to always being worth less to someone than that someone is worth to them.

Diana feels sick.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

_No. She doesn’t._

“I’m so sorry--” The words escape her in a gasp, but Akko shakes her head.

“You don’t gotta apologize. You have to do so much Diana, it’s okay to get a little overwhelmed--” She’s smiling that sad smile.

It feels like acid washing down her spine. Guilt and anger and frustration are all building beneath the surface, turning the blood in her veins to molten lava.

Diana can’t take it anymore. She rips the bracelet off of her arm.

Akko’s eyes widen, likely startled by the sudden motion more than anything else.

“Diana! What are you--”

Diana shoves the exposed wrist in front of Akko’s face-- it feels like ripping off a bandage that's been there for so long it's become molded into her skin-- just barely stopping in time to not punch her in the face. Akko flinches, blinking rapidly, then her eyes focus on the stark black marks.

“... oh…”

“I’m so, so sorry.” Diana’s voice breaks. The heat is raging beneath the surface, pressing against her temples, her eyes, her throat, the tip of her tongue. It feels like she's seconds away from breathing out a collum of flame.

Akko stares, unmoving for a moment, then looks back up at Diana, confusion in her face.

“But I… you… wh… what..?” 

Diana swallows painfully. It tastes like smoke.

“I couldn’t read it.” She rasps.

Akko stares.

And stares.

And stares.

And… laughs?

It’s a little snort at first, just the twitching of her lips. Then it bursts out in a flood. Laughter, loud, boisterous laughter that shakes Akko’s entire body.

A spike of ice shoots up through Diana's chest and the heat evaporates accordingly.

“Akko, what are you--”

“I’m so--” Akko’s laughing so hard she can’t finish her sentence. She doubles over, tears streaming from her eyes, hands clutched over her stomach. “I’m so-- oh my god!-- I’m sor- r- rryy!” 

She’s wheezing.

The ice slowly diminishes until it's nothing more than a pool of water, easily wiped away.

Diana wants to be angry, but Akko’s smile, unbidden and unrestrained, never fails to put her in a good mood. Even now she can’t help but smile a little herself, barely managing to not let out a giggle of her own. 

Eventually, the laughter subsides, but at that point, Akko has all but fallen to the floor and tears have made her face shiny with moisture. She reaches up to wipe at her face with one hand, the other struggles to pull off the ribbon wound around her wrist.

“We are both so stupid…” she whispers, and Diana can feel the emotion in that sentence. All of the months of pining summed up in five words.

Part of her wants to cry again.

“I can agree with that sentiment.” She says instead, and Akko smiles, baring her wrist for her to see:

_Diana Cavendish._

Diana can feel warmth in her chest again, but it no longer feels like it’s burning her from the inside out.

“Akko, I--”

“Talk too much.” Akko finishes for her and, before she can comment, presses her lips against hers.

_Oh._

~~~

“Mom…” the voice is timid and Diana almost doesn’t hear it over the scratching of her quill against the paper. Fortunately, she’s gotten used to such interruptions in her workflow over the years and so she glances up without a second thought.

A little girl stands in the doorway of her study, face still round with youth. Her eyes glitter in the candlelight, the same shimmering crimson she’d fallen in love with so long ago. Her blonde hair is ruffled from sleep, or the tossing and turning that denotes the lack of it. She’d hoped she’d inherit Akko’s ability to sleep through just about anything rather than her erratic sleeping patterns.

So far, no such luck.

She glances at the clock on the wall, 2 am.

“You should be in bed, Young Lady.” Diana chides gently.

Kazuko shifts against the doorframe, one arm crossed over her body to latch onto the other. Her gaze looks troubled, more than a 9-year-old’s should. Finally, Diana places her quill back in the inkwell and turns to give her daughter her undivided attention.

“What’s wrong?”

Kazuko shuffles forwards and places herself in her lap. Diana tries not to huff, she’s starting to get a bit too big for this. Regardless, Diana lifts her with ease and settles her more comfortably against her chest. Kazuko rests her head against her collarbone.

“When did your mark come in…?” She asks and Diana feels a bit like lightning has struck down her spine. Kazuko’s wrist rests in her lap, still as blank as the day she was born. It’s not unusual for children’s marks to come in later in life, the oldest she’s ever heard was fourteen, but it is much more common for the mark to come in the first 10 years.

Hers appeared when she was six, just after her mother died.

“How long has this been bothering you?” 

Kazuko looks up at her sheepishly.

Diana sighs, more out of fondness than exasperation.

“You know that marks don’t define you as a person?” She asks, Kazuko nods, but she can see the doubt in her eyes. Diana squeezes her reassuringly. 

“I got mine earlier than you,” she always prizes honesty over false platitudes and she can see as the worry takes over Kazuko’s expression, “but I had some bigger problems after that.”

Kazuko looks at her confused.

Diana smiles.

“I couldn’t read it.”

Kazuko’s eyes widen.

“You couldn’t read it?!” 

Diana chuckles and brandishes the mark for her to look at.

“I couldn’t read Kanji. Gave your Mama a headache once we finally met.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re the one who had a headache.”

Diana glances up to meet her wife’s gaze from where she’s leant against the doorframe.

She smiles fondly, “Is that so?”

Akko walks over and scoops Kazuko up from her lap.

“Oh, most definitely. And for the record,” she looks down at their daughter, “my mark didn’t come in until I was 16, right before I left for Luna Nova.”

Diana’s brows rise.

“You never told me that.”

Akko smiles fondly at her, “We had enough stuff to worry about, didn’t think you needed to add that one to your plate. Now, both of you should be in bed. I’m gonna go take care of this one,” she pokes Kazuko in the stomach, eliciting a squeal of laughter, “and you better be there when I get back to ours.”

With that, she leaves Diana’s study.

Diana watches her go, fond. She wonders, vaguely, how she got so lucky, but she knows that she’s earned it. They both have. 

She glances at her wrist.

Atsuko Cavendish has a better ring to it anyway.


End file.
